We are happy to show the best hilarious sarcastic status and short sarcastic quotes in this post to make you smile and convey different feelings. This post contains the most complicated and hilarious sarcastic status and short quotes that can leave anyone with a beautiful smile. Check our best sarcastic status and short sarcastic quotes from our compilation.
Hilarious Sarcastic Status for Facebook Messages
I love my life, but she just wants to be friends.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't make it out alive.
The conclusion is the part you got tired of thinking about.
I never admit or deny anything, it makes things more interesting.
If something goes wrong in the office, blame the guy who doesn't speak English.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone to blame.
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
People say laughter is the best medicine…my face must be healing the world!
Do you think I'm sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!
Uh, no, you called the wrong number. This is 9-1-2.
It takes patience to listen. It takes skill to pretend you're listening.
I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting cold and eaten.
Even good-for-nothing people can bring a smile to their face when pushed down the stairs.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in your car.
Avoid arguments over the toilet seat…use the sink.
I think they chose me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!
Best Sarcastic Status for Whatsapp Status
If a stranger offers you a piece of candy…take two…
My internet is so slow that it's faster to drive to Google headquarters and ask something in person.
My IQ came back negative.
The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*.
Remember that everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum damage.
Dear Sir, there is a bug in your software… it's called #Monday, please fix it.
Gods are fragile things, they can be killed by a breath of science or a dose of common sense. -Chapman Cohen
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is the best defense.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
I'm just here for the free food.
Suicide: Man's way of saying to God – You can't fire me, I quit.
Me: What kind of font is this?
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people look brilliant until they speak.
Conscience is what hurts when every other part feels so good.
I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to be vegetarian.
Short Sarcastic Status for Facebook Whatsapp
No Déjà vu, please... I don't want to go through this again.
Waitress: Do you have any questions about the menu?
Depression is just half-hearted anger.
I am a prince in Lagos, Nigeria and I want you to help me transfer US$ 500 million out of the country.
There is no “I” in the team. No, wait, yes, there is!
Don't regret doing things, regret getting caught.
When wearing a bikini, a woman reveals 90% of her body… Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts.
I hate it when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
I think my neighbor is stalking me while Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Facebook is telling me to “reconnect” with my brother…hmmm, I see him every day.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and other days you are the statue. -Dilberto
As the joker said, if you're good at something, why do it for free?
Funny Sarcastic Status Messages for Whatsapp
Congratulations, if you press the elevator button three times, it will go into rush mode – seriously.
Going to the temple/church/mosque doesn't make you a human, just like staying in a garage doesn't make you a car.
I saw strange things in that place last night. Weird, weird, sick, twisted, disgusting, ungodly, evil stuff and I want it.
I wasn't lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth.
Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday off.
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.
If I promise to miss you, will you leave?
I am not a bad guy! I work hard and love my children. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?
I'm smiling. This should scare you.
It takes two to lie... One to lie and one to listen.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it includes a free trip around the Sun.
Never tell anyone your problems... 20% don't care and the other 80% are happy you have them.
Ah... I didn't tell you... Then it must be none of your business.
Please don't eat me! I have a wife and children… Eat them!
Shut up, will you? Oh, I'm sorry, Your Highness, should I go get your coffee and tea now?
The grass may be greener on the other side, but at least you don't have to mow it.
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
BECAUSE GOD? WHY JUST ME? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME… We didn't have an agreement that I would never grow old.
THANKS TO YOU I learned that my prayers will only be answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
You can't be a real country unless you have a BEER and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team or some nuclear weapons, but at least you need a BEER.
HOW TO DISABLE CAPS LOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN IT OFF. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE CRAZY BECAUSE THEY THINK I'M YELLING AT THEM ON THE INTERNET. PLEASE HELP!!!
Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect the way it is. So here's the deal: you freeze everything as is and I won't ask for anything else. If it's okay, please give me absolutely no signals. Ok deal. In gratitude, I present to you this offer of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat for you, don't give me any sign. Thy will be done.
